94. Writing from Paris

About my first day here, rise and grind energy and allowing myself to enjoy the city my way.

I’m sitting at a small square table in front of a big open window looking out onto Paris. The love of my life is sitting to my right leaning on the window’s bannister reading a second hand book that he bought today. As I write this POMELO, I’m boiling rice and heating up ginger curry sauce for our dinner. We’ve spent the day walking around the city with no specific plan, letting the city surprise us. 

Today is Bastille Day, an annual big French holiday. As I worked this morning, sat at the same table as I am now, I saw fighter jets fly by releasing blue, white and red smoke in celebration of France’s day. Tonight, thousands of people will gather to see the firework show from the Eiffel Tower, we won’t be there though. We’ll most probably be in bed by 11 p.m. reading our books before dozing off to sleep. 

After having lived in Barcelona I feel like most cities function in more or less the same way. Of course, Paris is a lot bigger and in a different country, so obviously many things are different, but the entrails are the same: Tourists flying over to visit what the city has to offer, thousands of people walking its streets discovering its secrets along with the well-known sites, shops selling souvenirs, shops selling the big brands that you don’t usually see outside of the Internet for you to touch or try on, book shops with books in any language, hundreds of coffee shops, restaurants and cafés, live music being played at concerts, actors putting on shows in theatres… Anything you can think of you can find in a city. That's the magic of it. 

A sneaky photo from Shakespeare and Co.

When C. and I moved to Barcelona looking for our big city life experience last year, this is what we craved and lived for. The things to do and to see, but there’s a big cost that comes with being in the big smoke and that’s the financial side. You have to really want to be in a city or else it can become hell. You have to want to be in the centre of all of the hustle and bustle or it will drive you crazy. And more importantly, you have to agree with paying for it. 

Your rent is going to be almost three figures, on top of that you’ll have to add your water, electricity, gas and internet bills, the dustbin collection, and possibly community fees. Now, you’re already way past the 1.000 euro mark. On top of that, add your supermarket shops, your occasional restaurant receipt, your public transport card, your coffee with a friend, your extra presents from Muji, UNIQLO, Zara, Carhartt, Nike… Now you’re getting further and further away from 1.000 euros. But hey, that’s city life. 

Raspberry is always my go-to.

A lot of the people I used to know and hang around with in Barcelona were really into fashion and trends and this is really awesome and it’s a cool vibe to be in, but the bank also takes an extra hit from it all. The shoe collaborations that drop every 2-3 months at 120-200 euro a pair, the new Apple headphones that everyone wears aesthetically around their necks are at 800 euro, the vintage shop hunts that are like finding gold in a mine so you have to go weekly to cop the good stuff, the constant trends you want to keep up with. But again, that’s city life. 

As you walk around the city you see “your people”.  You see the way they’re dressed and know if they’re in your same Internet circle. You go to the places that are cool to be around more cool people and take photos for Instagram. This is universal, I see the same circles in Paris as I did in Barcelona and that’s nice because we all love feeling a part of something and knowing what’s familiar to us. It’s like watching an American film and deciding whether you want to be a jock, an emo, a skater, a geek, a hipster…

I now live in the countryside in the middle of literally nowhere and none of these things exist. Crocs are used to get wet and muddy when watering plants, Dickies and Carhartt are used as real workwear to get dirty and stained with paint or oil. Hunter boots are not a thing because the garden centre sells them ten times cheaper, hats are used to avoid your face getting burned instead of for completing your outfit and Nike trainers are used to go on a run if that, not for giving an outfit “dad vibes”. They are two completely different worlds—there are obviously many more, but these are the two relevant ones in my essay. 

I’ve lived in both of these worlds and I understand how they work and what most of the rules are in each place. I know where I feel more at peace and where I feel more human, which is my priority right now, but I also understand why people decide to live in cities. I may agree more or less with it, but I understand it because I’ve been one of those people and anyway, who knows? Maybe further down the line I may be living in a city again because my circumstances and priorities change.

22.000 steps for 3 days straight requires breaks.

The countryside offers me peace, health and provides me with a feeling of expansion whereas my short and sweet visits to big cities provide me with other things I also enjoy in small doses. My anxious mind doesn’t work well in the city with thousands of people running up and down 24/7, with lights constantly turned on and my biorhythms going crazy and the feeling of “spend money to get a ticket to do absolutely anything” here but, I appreciate their existence. For a lot of people, cities have provided them with jobs, opportunities, social circles and communities that allow them to feel like they fit in or even the motivation to follow their dream; but I know that right now, it’s not for me. 

By knowing—what for me—are pros and cons, I’ve been able to learn how to navigate my short visits without feeling overwhelmed or anxious while enjoying the things that I get joy out of. I don’t go to nightclubs, I avoid being on the streets past dark, I order food to take out rather than in restaurants, I spend an hour browsing each English book shop, I sit in parks and take my shoes off on the grass, I avoid the big touristic places to avoid the masses of human traffic jams and I observe people and allow myself to become inspired by their outfits and their energy. I don’t allow that constant rise and grind energy to interrupt my energy by keeping myself and my ethics as my priority and removing expectations of what I think needs to happen.

Maybe one day I’ll have mastered this craft so well that I might be able to live in a big city without its energy altering my own. Only time can tell, but for now, sitting at this small square white table by the big open window looking out onto Paris, I’m able to feel grateful, inspired and happy.

After seeing so much love from last week’s POMELO and the voiceover, I’ll be doing more of them. I wasn’t able to this week, so enjoy reading it, but expect more of me speaking to you in the future! Thank you to everyone who likes, comments, shares and welcome to all of the new subscribers. Thank you each and every one of you for being here. I see you all 💙

Love, Emily.