67. Twenty two things I've learnt from 2022

What a ride it's been.

I’ve been going over the list I made for what I wanted to achieve from 2022 and I can say that I did quite well. I didn’t give myself imposible things to reach like “do exercise every day” or “be happy 99% of the time” and if I’m honest, I didn’t look at this list again until today because I’d completely forgotten all about it. So anything that I’ve accomplished has happened naturally without me forcing it.

Another thing I’ve realised after going over this “things that I would like to do this year” list, I’ve realised that I had no idea what was coming my way. I could have expected some things to occur like POMELO hitting 1 year or writing every week just because of habit, but most things now looking back would have been impossible to even imagine.

2022 has taught me that no matter how much you plan what the year will look like, you will be in for big surprises.

1. I’ve learnt that my soul, body and mind feel in harmony, healthy and happy when closest to nature. I feed off of the green leaves, the mountains covered in snow, the orange leaves that fall when autumn arrives, the eagles that are always guarding the sky and the slow pace of life here.

2. Distractions push you really far away from your true self. I’m not just an empty body with a brain keeping me alive. I’m a whole ecosystem myself that lives in a bigger ecosystem that surrounds me. The more I consume things through my phone screen, the further I drift away from my own life. I hit rock bottom in November and it took me a long time to find that stream to take me back to myself. I learnt a lot along the way but I don’t want to feel that lost again. At least not because of neglecting my inner self.

3. People come and go. Sometimes you have no idea why but they just do and it’s a natural part of life. Everyone is dealing with their own life and so are you. Sometimes you’re not what a person needs just as they’re sometimes not what you need. They grow, you grow, they expand, you do too, they self cocoon and so do you. People need space to grow and it’s always okay, a lot of the time you’ll find your way back to each other; and if you don’t, there was probably a reason for it.

4. Life isn’t black or white and I’m a person who feels most comfortable in the grey area. 100% countryside life can feel isolating and 100% city life can feel stressful. Both have things that I love and live for and I understand that I can find a middle ground where I allow things from each extreme into my life.

5. The long distance, slow paced, runner Emily is the version who has the best mental health. It’s incredible how different I feel while out on a run and the whole day afterwards. Once I get into the zone, I can run non-stop, my mind is empty and all I focus on is my breathing, my posture and my feet. I look up every so often to take in the green trees and the sandy trail, I smile and carry on. It’s one of the best feelings I’ve felt throughout this year, I hope to keep it up during 2023.

6. I can’t force people to be what I need. I can express my needs and I can ask them if they’re able to and want to meet them, but I can’t force them to do anything about it. Everyone has a choice and if I’ve already been clear about what I need for the relationship to prosper and they can’t or don’t want to give what I’m asking for, they have the right to leave and I also have the right to walk away. This works both ways.

7. Reading is something I enjoy and I’m passionate about. It’s not a competition and I don’t enjoy books more if I read a larger quantity. Reading 6 books per month in summer was cool, but that doesn’t mean that I have to read six books every month of the year. I can take it easy and more importantly, read when I desire to pick up a book. Learning when to slow down is also a big accomplishment.

8. If someone wants to be present in your life, they will be. No matter the distance that separates you or the time differences between you. A phone call can always be scheduled and messages can always be sent. It’s that simple. There will be periods when you speak more often and other moments when you speak less, but you will feel them close by no matter what.

9. Communication with respect is key. Don’t speak out of emotion, breathe and calm down before you speak. Everyone has feelings and they’re all valid, but don’t let yours control you. Take a time out, digest what you’re feeling and then express how you feel and how you’re affected. Listen to the other person’s point of view, digest that too and with love, find a solution for you both.

10. Uncomfortable conversations strengthen relationships. Say what you’re feeling, say why it upset you, say what made you feel angry, ask why they said that, ask why they acted that way, ask what they were feeling, ask if you offended them, ask if they have something they’d like to share because they’re acting differently… but do it. If you can’t speak to someone when things are uncomfortable, maybe that relationship isn’t as strong as you thought. Or maybe it will become stronger because you spoke up.

11. Life’s too short to do what “you’re supposed” to do. Do what you feel is right, follow your own path, be true to who you are and you’ll find your type of people along the way.

12. Being alone isn’t a bad thing. There are times when you feel like you have no friends around, you don’t feel like hanging out, you don’t even feel like talking to someone on the phone. That’s cool too. It’s natural to go through periods in which you need solitude. In the end, we never really are completely alone, you’ve always got yourself and that’s something a lot of us tend to forget. We can be great company for ourselves, we just need to get used to it and give ourselves the space for it to happen.

13. You don’t have to do sport every week to feel good. You don’t have to eat mega clean to feel good. You don’t need the best skin care routine in the world to feel good. You don’t need extraordinary outfits every day to feel good. When your mind is at peace, when you speak to yourself with kindness and when you really love yourself, you’ll feel good. Sport, clean eating, skin care products and snazzy outfits are add ons or boosters to help take you back to your “I love myself” place.

14. Taking care of yourself is your own responsibility. The people that love you will always be around and will always help when you ask for it (that’s also important!) but you are your own responsibility. You can’t expect friends, family or partners to cover your own needs all the time. We’re all living our own lives too, and everyone has their plate pretty full.

15. Joy can be found anywhere you look, you just have to look with intention. If you start off the day with gratitude you’ll most probably see the world and yourself with different eyes. I like to look in the mirror every morning on my way to the bathroom and smile. I tell myself that I woke up looking cute (even if I look like a mess) and I start my day off slowly.

16. Don’t look at your phone when you first wake up. Put it in airplane mode and don’t use it if you don’t need to. Let your day start off with your own voice and your own pace. You don’t need to read WhatsApp messages, check emails or look at Instagram. Give yourself 45 mins to wake up in a chilled environment, eat your breakfast or drink your coffee listening to your own thoughts and when you’ve already started the day with yourself, look at your phone.

17. No one, literally no one, gives a shit about what you’re doing. Let me explain: When I order a coffee no one is looking at me or listening to me, and if they are, they’ll have forgotten within two minutes. No one is rating my outfit as I walk down the street. No one is analysing my face and looking if I’ve plucked my eye brows. No one cares. Everyone is living their own life and is too busy thinking about themselves to be thinking about me. Chill. Do what you want to do. Be you. Speak as you would naturally. Don’t plan and study everything. Don’t try to be perfect or cool. Just be you, that’s what everyone is doing.

18. Be grateful. You’re alive. Every season, month and week is special. Don’t wait for summer to come around to be able to live life with excitement. Don’t wait for it to be warm and sunny to go for a walk. Don't wait for a birthday to eat cake. Don’t look for special occasions to eat your favourite food. Don’t wait for… Do it now if you want to. Do it now, life isn’t eternal and each day is perfect if you want it to be. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to arrive, go look for it or create it.

19. Trust that everything happens for a reason and that you’ll be ok. No matter how big the storm is up ahead of you, it may never strike. All of those “bad” things may never happen and if they do, they’re experiences you’ve got to live and get through. It may be really difficult and it may take everything you’ve got, but it will be ok. Nothing lasts forever. Anyway, who decides what’s good and bad?

20. You can only control yourself, what you do, what you say and how you act. You can’t control every single thing that happens in your life and the more you understand that, the more relaxed you’ll be. Life will happen whether you like it or not and the only thing you can control is how you react. Flow, you may surprise yourself.

21. We make the best decisions we can in each moment with the information we have and with what we know in that exact moment. There’s no point in regretting past decisions, you didn’t have the experience or the knowledge that you have now. You tried your best with what you had, and that was perfect. If you feel differently now, it’s because you’ve grown and experienced more things. Love that past version of yourself, she was going the best she could.

22. Love and speak to yourself as you do to the people you love. Don’t be so nasty to yourself in your own head. You’d never say a lot of the things that you say to yourself to your best friends, so treat yourself with the same gentleness and kindness. You deserve it as much as anyone else and you don’t have to “do” anything to deserve it either. Loving yourself isn’t a prize for being healthy and productive, it’s a basic and very important necessity no matter what.

This year has been great. I’ve laughed so much, I’ve felt scared and excited, I’ve loved with my whole heart, I’ve missed people, I’ve forgiven people, I’ve forgiven myself, I’ve cried a lot, I’ve felt lost and then found myself, I’ve met new people who have brought me joy, I’ve let go of people who weren’t good for me, I’ve put myself first… I’ve done a lot of things and I’d do it all again.

I’m blessed to be doing it all again, and so are you.

Love,
Emily.