66. Personality traits.

We're puzzles and the pieces are people and experiences.

A few POMELOs ago I spoke about how the Internet shaped our character and how un-original we are because we just “copy” what we see. Well, after reflecting on this and finding myself in a new head space I’ve recently come across the word “personality trait” again and for some reason, this time it’s stuck with me. 

It’s not the first time I’ve seen this word but after reflecting on what a person’s personality is made up of, it now makes more sense. I’m able to see that I’m a collection of traits that I’ve picked up throughout my life. Some traits may come from people I care about, experiences I lived, films that I saw as a child, countries I visited… you name it. 

In my previous POMELO I feel like I was too short sighted and I was focussing on the wrong things. Being “original” or “unique” isn’t a matter of life or death in the first place, and secondly, you’re not more unique or more special if you come up with the idea from scratch than if you see the idea, and transform it into something that fits into your own life and self. For example, I have an older cousin who took the inspiration from Beetlejuice and created a vinyl wallpaper and made it a part of her home. Did she create the black and white stripes? Of course not. But she did find a way of including that style she liked into her own home in her own unique way. 

Another example: Clark’s Wallabees are the vibe right now. My grandfather has been wearing Clarks shoes since I can remember and they were never considered to be “cool”. To be honest, I don’t think any 20-25 year old would want to have been seen dead shopping in a Clarks shoe shop, but now you can find Wallabees in your closest skate shop. Talk about polar opposites. 

I judged this before, but now I understand that these are personality traits, quirks or features. You’re allowed to see a 70 year old man’s shoes and wooly vest and think “I could rock that”, mixed with some slip on vans and some tracksuit bottoms. In a logical, squared-minded way, you’d be mixing sports wear with skate shoes and grandfather fashion, but all three of these styles are personality traits that you’ve found some kind of emotion you identify with and you feel comfortable and happy when wearing them so you’ve included them into your personality-feature bank. 

I used to wear bright red crocs as a child with as many jibbitz as I could fit in the shoe’s holes and I’d wear them all day every day. To the beach, in the garden playing cricket, riding my bike up and down the street, as slippers indoors. I’d wear them as my favourite and best shoes with jeans out for dinner, it didn’t matter, they were my special shoes. Then I became a teenager and ditched the crocs because they were no longer cool. 13 years later even Hailey Bieber is wearing crocs as a staple garment in her closet and am I secretly very happy about it because I can own those ugly but fantastic rubber shoes again and pretend that it’s because it’s fashionable? Yes. Yes I am. 

We’re walking puzzles of personality traits that we’ve picked up along the way and it’s beautiful. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to see it that way in my previous post. I’ve grown thanks to reflecting on it so I guess that’s a win-win situation for me. 

I seem to have only given fashion examples up to now so why don’t we step out of that umbrella and find some more. For example: food, as a teen I’d spend a lot of time at my best friend’s house who was Uruguayan and she’d give me one of her super special “alfajores” from her limited supply/stash brought over from Uruguay. Dulce de leche and chocolate magic all in one bite. To this day I still love alfajores and whenever I eat one I think of her and the times when we used to eat them at her house and savour every last bite in silence because there wouldn’t be another one.

Eating alfajores whenever I see them in a coffee shop or bakery is a personality trait I’ve decided to keep from her and which will probably always be a part of me. Along with all of the random Spanish or English words I’ve picked up from people in my life. 

I’m a walking mish-mashed puzzle of personality traits I’ve picked up from people and they are what make up the current Emily. It’s pretty special when you stop to think about it. 

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See you next Monday at 7:34 a.m.