They ask why every fucking song the fucking same
And I tell them it’s ‘cause ain’t nothing changed
Saying ain’t nothing changed
Check, I’m saying ain’t nothing changed
Trust, ‘cause ain’t nothing changed
- LOYLE CARNER
Maybe you guys haven’t noticed, or maybe you have, but my heart and soul haven’t fully been here for the last few POMELOS. I’ve been feeling a bit lost and almost as if I had no creativity left in me. I felt like I couldn’t write anything good and no words were coming out as I wanted them to. I’ve still had ideas and felt a desire to write, but I’ve not been content with what I’ve been producing.
For the last two weeks I’ve been reflecting on what I’m feeling and where I’m going wrong and I think it’s because I’ve stopped writing how and what *I* want to write. I’ve been focussing on trying to please everyone and in the end I’m the only one suffering. Some people that are close to me and know my true style of writing can see the difference, they said that it’s as if I hadn’t been writing from my soul and that when I do, it makes a hell of a difference. I agree with them and I’m grateful for their feedback because it’s helped me to find myself and try and come back to the starting point.
When I first started writing POMELO I had around 10 readers (and more or less 5 of them were family 💘) now there’s almost five times more and this is pretty scary sometimes 😅. I rarely look at stats and figures because I don’t write only to gain an audience. The reasons I write are to help myself and other people, and use this as a way of channeling my thoughts and feelings. The stats, of course, are motivating and pretty incredible when I think about it. There are actual real people, and even total strangers, that are interested in what I have to say and support me - wow ❤️ but if I put my focus on that, I’ll lose myself again.
I’ve now learned that if I write trying to please people and give them what I think that they want, I’m only letting myself down because I’m not being true to what I really want to do. I can’t make everyone happy and I can’t expect everyone to enjoy every single post, or any of my posts at all in fact, and that’s okay. If I’m happy, I’ll be giving you all the best I have and in the end I think that that will get me a lot further than people-pleasing. So, here we are, as Loyle Carter says: “ain’t nothing changed” and I hope it stays that way for as long as I carry on writing.
yayyy🥳 that’s the mindset💛