21. Don't tell me what success is
Other people's parameters don't have to mean anything to you.
I feel like it’s time to switch back to English, not forever but for a while. I can’t let my English person’s neurones die a slow death from not using them enough. Trust me, this is much easier in Spanish when your brain is in Spanish 95% of the time.
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Today I wanted to write about something that happened to me this week which honestly, filled my heart with joy and so I thought that this week’s POMELO would hopefully do the same for one of you readers too.
I got a few replies regarding last week’s publication and one of those messages I received was from a couple that I know. Turns out that they both read the newsletter every week and then discuss it together and sometimes even race to see who reads it first, this to me was absolutely mind-blowing. Of course I know that people read POMELO and of course I know that some people think “ah tomorrow’s Monday so I’ll receive the newsletter when I wake up”. But, for some reason -probably to steer myself away from pressure and nerves- I don’t imagine or think about these things happening. I write and I give it my all until the moment it’s published and then once POMELO is out in the world, it kind of stops there, I don’t think much more about it. I kiss it good bye and then close my eyes so I don’t see what happens next, just in case.
When I was reminded with such a beautiful message that my writing is a part of these people’s lives and that it exists out there in the real world in its own individual way, it made me feel truly blessed. It was a reminder that what I’m doing is not just for me but for you guys too in one way of another. I try my best every week to provide you will cool and interesting content and seeing that it’s loved by others made me feel very special and supported.
This idea is linked to something else I have wanted to speak about and have been pondering on for quite a while now: goals and success.
Nowadays it can be a bit more difficult to see our achievements as such or consider as a success what we’ve done because so much of our lives are online. We tend to measure how well we’ve done depending on the amount of likes, follows, comments, subscribers or shares we get on our publications, photos, videos, or whatever content we’re sharing. When in reality, we should be the only ones telling ourselves if we’ve accomplished the goals we’ve set ourselves or not. As I write this, I’m also trying to teach myself this. We have no control over absolutely anything other than ourselves. I can’t control how many people will see my posts about POMELO on Instagram or how many people will open the link and take the time to read it. I don’t have any control over whether someone will even like what I write, but I do have total control over how I feel and what I consider as success.
Sometimes when I see that there’s been little interaction with that week’s post I feel a bit worried or sad that no one liked it, when I see that no one even sees my stories or posts I feel angry that Instagram doesn’t show my content to everyone that follows me. But, I’m trying to teach myself that none of this truly matters, my success isn’t measured by any of these parameters. They exist, but it doesn’t mean that I have to give them any importance. I want to measure my success by accomplishing goals I set myself like: publishing a new post every week, growing as a person every week thanks to what I reflect and write on, opening up to the world and being true to myself, learning new things I’m interested in and reading up on things to create content. The fact that I sit down, brainstorm and dedicate hours and days of my life to keeping POMELO alive, already, is a big achievement in my eyes. I didn’t even used to have a newsletter and now we’re already on issue 21. So when you look at it like that, it’s inevitable not to feel proud of yourself and feel happy about the steps you’re taking. We, I, just need to learn where and how to look. If we let other people’s parameters determine whether we’re successful or not, we’re doomed.
This is a message or a reminder to myself and to you, reader, to start this week off by making a list of everything we’ve done and all of the things we have to feel proud about and giving ourselves a pat on the back and a big hug.
P.S. If you have friends that are working on their own projects and they are sharing their work with the world, help them out. One message I received last week from someone literally changed my entire week. Like, share or comment on their posts. Tell them if you liked or enjoyed something, tell them if you didn’t and want to give them constructive advice or some feedback. Encourage them to carry on doing what they’re doing. Show them that you see their work and that you appreciate it. One kind message could change someone’s week, as it did mine.
Support your friends, support small businesses, support people who are doing things. Your love goes a long way!!!!!
Thank you for being here for another week
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