149. Recent thoughts as diary entries.

To show up or to rest? Thank God for friends and our new project launch.

Showing up for myself in relation to doing exercise has changed me in so many ways, but now that I’m in the habit of going on runs and being active, I find myself asking how to know when my body needs a rest and when my mind is producing excuses to not show up. Nothing makes me feel as good as going on a long run. I push through the initial discomfort, I feel into my body, I pay attention to my muscles and release the tension, I find my pace and I feel my mind quieten. I’m completely present. Once the run is over I feel active, energized and proud of myself. I feel my inner narrative shift to a more positive, optimistic one and I already look forward to the next run.

Yesterday I woke up at 4 am to drive Ángela to the airport and then camped in the car until 9. I slept wrapped up in a blanket and then made eggs, bacon and coffee on the Campingaz cooker on a picnic table. I was exhausted and knew that I needed to rest, have a nap and finish off the day with a warm bath before going to bed. I needed to unwind and recover, but when I woke up today, I still felt tired so I slept in. My body ached, my head throbbed and every small task felt like a mountain. Was I tired? Was I coming down with something? I wasn’t sure so I put on my running clothes and trainers and headed out to go for a walk. I told myself that we could go slow or go hard, whichever felt best and the run was what I craved.

My boyfriend and I are lucky to have such similar tastes and interests, it makes spending time together easy and fun. We enjoy playing tennis, going on bike rides, thrifting, watching films, dancing terribly in the kitchen, drinking coffee in the middle of a field and falling asleep reading our books. 90% of the time we’re on the same page, but that other 10% creeps up and causes a ripple in the lake.

I love the beach, lying on the sand after a cold water swim, reading a book. Not moving for hours is my ideal plan, while this is what he imagines as some kind of living hell. He can’t sit still for more than fifteen minutes, he can’t nap because his mind moves too fast, he can’t read for more than ten pages, he isn’t made for the beach-pool-side lifestyle. But my friends are. Actually, they most probably aren’t, but when I ask my friends if they’re down for doing something together, they hardly ever say no. When Ángela asked me if I wanted to go with her to a book presentation I’d not read, I said yes. When I asked Gema if she wanted to go on a bike ride with me, she said yes even though she’s petrified of riding bikes on the road. When I asked Ángela if she wanted to come on a 7.5km run with me, she grabbed the bike and said yes.

My friends are the puzzle pieces that complete my life and make sure that the 10% my boyfriend refuses to agree to doesn’t end in divorce.

C (boyfriend) and I finally launched the project we’ve been working on for two years. Nowadays they call it soft launching but we call it: We’re too excited to wait any longer and it’s finally ready so let’s do it. We couldn’t have been able to do this without Gus, our dear friend and web developer. He turned our Figma design into reality with a humongous amount of code. Up until now, whenever the website was ready, a new error would pop up. We’d fix the error and another one would appear… Each step led us to realising that we needed more things in the backend, so the website kept getting bigger and more complex. We could have chosen to stop and forget the whole idea because of the scale of it, but we trusted that our idea was worth it. That’s what got us to the finish line: trust.

We trusted Gus’ abilities, we trusted our idea, we trusted our design, we trusted our knowledge, we trusted everything we had in us and that meant that we were trusting our path. We have no idea where this is going to lead us, but we trust that what’s meant to happen will happen and we’re, as always, doing this with complete love and passion. You could also say that we’re not approaching a new launch as people usually do it, but that’s nothing new if you know us. We find our way and we trust it will work out and so far, it’s never failed us.

We don’t do free trials, promo emails, discounts nor do we want to try to convince you that our service is the best thing since sliced bread and that if you don’t cop now you’ll be missing out. We want to work slowly and surely. We want to find our people and give them the absolute best we have at every moment. We want to show that we’re passionate about what we’ve created and that our project is our baby and our best work until now. We’ve poured hours of our lives into this project and we’ve had massive arguments over it too. It’s been a two year long journey and all we know is that when you put intention and love into something, it grows. However, when you focus on earning money out of thin air and becoming rich overnight, your ship will sink.

We’re here for the long run and what we have now is the absolute best we’re able to offer at this moment, but give us time.

www.podaserver.com