109. Why I hate LinkedIn
You either love it or hate it.
Every time I logged into LinkedIn I felt like a loser. Everyone was getting new and better jobs, networking with important people, finishing degrees and masters programmes, and moving up the ladder. Meanwhile, my work life was pretty much the same. I was still doing the same job, with the same clients and earning pretty much the same amount of money as I have been for the last five years.
LinkedIn isn’t made for stagnation, there must be a feeling of constant movement because if not, you’re not showing the world that you’re progressing. If you’re not moving onto higher positions in a company, you’re not growing. If you’re not going to seminars or not studying, you’re not learning new things to apply in your job. But most importantly, if you’re not moving, you’re being left behind while everyone else takes steps forwards.
The thing with the world of work is that you don’t go forwards or backwards along a horizontal line, you go up or down on a ladder in a vertical line. You’re always above or below someone in the hierarchy and of course, nobody wants to be less than their colleague. In school we’re taught that life is a competition, if you’re not top of the class, you’re average and being mediocre won’t bring you greatness. I couldn’t count how many times I’ve heard during my years of education that “you have to be the best of the best” if you want to make it. Or that “you need to have more than everyone else so that you stand out as a candidate”. More languages, more diplomas, more experience, more contacts, more internships, more, more, more. The problem with this is that you’ll never reach the ceiling because the ladder will only keep on growing.
There will never be a day when you log onto LinkedIn and see someone say “I’m happy here and I don’t need to act like I’m constantly achieving goals because I’m content with my life as it is”. You will never see this because that’s not how LinkedIn’s ecosystem works. That’s something I learned recently.
A few months ago, I fell for the “I want to get on the ladder because each year I’m getting closer to thirty and I don’t have a real job yet”. So, I made my own website, I paid for the domain and the hosting and all that stuff. I put in the work to try to make the website a reflection of who I am and what I could offer and then did what you’re supposed to do which is set up a LinkedIn profile. I immediately felt lost because there were so many boxes that needed filling in with so much information I didn’t have. I put it on the back burner and said that I’d go back to it when I had more time to investigate. Anyway, I filled in all the blanks and wrote the biggest bullshit I’ve ever said about myself publicly on a social media app. I felt like I was trying to sell myself to anyone who would take me. Pick me! Pick me!
After this, came the “apply for this position” phase.
I started filtering through the offers looking for something that I would feel happy doing and all I was getting after selecting the filters was “there are no positions available within your search”. Ok. Maybe I’m doing this wrong, I’ll tweak the filters and more stuff will appear. Indeed, it did. The thing is, that with each filter I was changing, the more of myself I was letting slide. I was going from being a big ball of energy and possibility to a small “please let me fit into your box” person.
This search went on for a few weeks until I got bored because I wasn’t getting any replies. I wasn’t posting on the feed page because who even has anything to say there? I wonder if all the comments people leave are genuine or just a way of getting their name to appear in more places. I did leave a few genuine ones though, but they were of my close friends or people I admire.
I felt like a total loser and failure thanks to LinkedIn until Rebecca explained to me how the world of LinkedIn works. That’s when it all clicked. You have to bullshit your way through it. Every single thing you’ve achieved in your life goes on LinkedIn. Every person you know goes on LinkedIn, it’s called networking, look it up. The language you use is an “I’m better than you” type of language to prove that you’re big and powerful. This is when I was stunned. Is this really what I signed up for? Does this align with who I am?
I don’t know why I was so shocked because all of social media is the same. On Instagram we show the aesthetic parts of our lives, on Twitter we use words to show our thoughts and feelings. On TikTok we show our goofy creative sides. On Substack we get into our deeper thoughts and feelings. We’re always showing something but I don’t think I’ve ever bullshitted my way through any app, I’ve always been pretty transparent but it’s not that easy over on LinkedIn, at least not for me.
After feeling like a failure every time I decided to give “the job hunting” a go, I finally accepted that I’d had enough and that I wasn’t going to find what I was looking for there. I deleted my account and stopped paying the expensive 15 euros a month for my website on Cargo. I went back into the shadows and stopped trying.
LinkedIn probably works for loads of people, and if you’re one of them, this essay probably makes no sense and isn’t for you. I’m really pleased that you found your place and got what you wanted and needed from it. But the problem for many other people is that we can’t fit into specific boxes because our nature is different, we follow different paths, we have different beliefs. How do I say that in the boxes LinkedIn gives me? I tried but I was shouting into the void.
Now that time has passed and I can look back, I’m able to see that working for someone else wasn’t right for me in that moment. I live in the countryside, I work from home and I have three baby projects on the go that I’m trying to make work. That’s where my heart and soul should be no matter what society tells me.
My projects are only small projects right now, but if I keep being true to myself and continue to show up as I am, the right people will appear, exactly like they did with this newsletter. I started off writing to 5 people and now I’m way past 300. Just from being true to who I am and doing what felt right for me in each moment. I believe that there will come a time when my projects are my full time job and I’ll be able to talk more about that process.
We’re taught that a successful career looks like this: You finish high school, you study baccalaureate or its equivalent, you get a university degree, you then do a masters degree, you get two or three language diplomas (minimum B2 in each one), you do an internship, you start off in a low positioned job related to whatever you studied and you constantly try to get up the ladder until you reach a big as amount of money a year, get private health insurance, a mortgage, home insurance, an expensive wedding and have kids. Then you do that until you retire at almost 70 years old, but don’t forget to set up a private pension. That’s what you need to start preparing for when you’re 18 and heading off to university. It wasn’t and isn’t right for me.
That’s why LinkedIn will never be my place and the people that inspire me and want to work with me will have to find me through other mediums, just as I’m able to find them. I decided to take a different route and I love my life but it’s impossible for me to live on a completely alternate path and want to have one foot on another path that doesn’t belong to me. Of course I’m going to lose balance and fall because right now, the two don’t go together. Maybe one day my path will curve and I’ll end up closer to the other, but maybe it will continue to distance itself. Only time will tell and in reality, it’s out of my control.
The only thing I can control is continuing to show up as myself, share an honest message and trust my intuition.
STUFF I WANT TO SHARE
Dimanche is now up and running! Jesús and I are rescuing lost treasures at vide greniers in France and selling them. There are so many amazing, unique, cute and useful things that already exist and they deserve new homes. We’re selling through our website and also Vinted.
If you want to imagine you’re in a coffee shop click on this link and make yourself a coffee and you’ll be half way there.
vigas.works has released a new object called “allen hooks” and I’m extremely proud and think that everyone should discover his work because his whole heart goes into it.
This song makes me feel happy and gives me all the vibes (Sunshine by Cleo Sol)
- hasn’t written in a while but she just published a new piece about anxiety and it felt like she was describing every thing I feel so go show her some love, she’s great.
NOVEMBER BOOK CLUB - We’re going to read “Apegos Feroces” so if you’re interested in joining our online Book Club, send me a message on Instagram and we’ll be super excited to welcome you. We’re a small group of chicas that have a lot of love for each other, it’s a safe space and everyone is welcome <3
I’m so proud I could explode: I learned how to add music into my videos and kinda make it cool so give me some love if you enjoy watching random people’s vlogs on YouTube.
Ha, sadly 3/4 of what you wrote is the reality of life. If you do good work and want to live off it but nobody sees it, is there a point? If you want more friends but not willing to go out, how are you going to make any friends? If you want to eat fresh fish but eat in a mountain location and not willing to travel, how are you going to achieve this goal?
I think the bottom line is that the most important thing to do in our lives is to sit back and really work through what we want. Do I want a glamorous job? Am I fine living modestly? Do I want to be an entrepreneur? And if that doesn’t work out for me the first time, will I have the strength to try again?
It took me 28 years of my life to really nail down what I am most interested in and would do even if it paid me 0. Between 20 and 28, the period when people usually climb the “corporate ladder” I changed 6/7 jobs only to find out I didn’t want a job. Ever again.
I think the looming 30s aren’t what people make them out to be. I turned 32 this year and broke all the estimates I made for myself: that I would be married, wealthy and established, with kids.
I am not married (though in a committed relationship), I have no kids yet, others may look at me as established already but to be honest, I feel like I am just now starting to build something “big” for me. And even then, it feels hard as hell!
When I read your newsletter, I am “jealous” of your beautiful setting. You get to write from the countryside, with your loved one around, and can take a break to walk in nature whenever. That’s a rare thing! And something not many can do. So when you feel the pressure, think about the fact that so many “older” people with the great LinkedIn profile dream of living your life but cannot find a way to detach from their corporate life.
I support all of your projects and I am sure you will succeed in all of them. Put the horse blinders on and keep going.
Just to say I hate LinkedIn too x