100. I can't believe we made it here.
About what this means to me, a thank you letter and a recap of some special moments.
As my fingers type “100” my mind still can’t believe it.
I have been writing this newsletter for 100 weeks straight and in two Mondays I’ll have been writing POMELO for 2 whole years. One hundred weeks of non-stop writing. One hundred weeks of sitting in front of the blank computer screen and finding the way of getting it all out and onto the page, putting myself together in a way that would make sense to myself and others reading. One hundred weeks of imposter syndrome and fighting against that sometimes very evil little voice in my head.
I’ve never been a person to stick with any activity long term because if I’m not feeling it then I don’t believe in fighting until “the end” just to be considered a hard-working person. Sometimes the road less travelled is the road best left behind, and that’s something I’ve applied many times throughout my life. This newsletter hasn’t been the case.
With each week that has passed, the more I’ve loved it, the deeper I’ve fallen in love with writing, the harder I’ve pushed myself, the better I’ve gotten and I can’t see myself letting go of this project any time soon.
POMELO at the very beginning was called “Food For Thought” — It was the first thing that came to mind and I was more interested in starting writing than the whole branding, name thing so I just rolled with it. I had no plan and I let it all unfold by itself. Over time I realised that name I’d initially chosen wasn’t very original and it didn’t really do anything for me so I opened up to the idea of finding my own name. I didn’t do any specific searches or go down any inspo rabbit holes, I just told myself that the perfect name would arrive when it was meant to. And it did.
One night, I couldn’t fall asleep and the word “pomelo” came to mind. In Spanish it means grapefruit, which is a fruit I’ve never really been fond of nor paid much attention to. But for some reason, this word just fit perfectly. I remember writing it down on a piece of paper on my nightstand and seeing the written down for the first time made me like it even more. I went to sleep that night feeling excited. When I woke up the next morning and told C. about it, he thought it was really cool too and that was it, my newsletter was called “POMELO”.
I started this newsletter because I needed to write and I wanted to give myself an excuse and a goal to work towards, which was writing once a week. I remember that at the beginning I was petrified of not being able to do it but slowly I found my pace and I was able to publish each week. I chose Monday because I wanted my friends, who were the only people that read what I wrote at the beginning, to get a “letter” from me at the start of their week to start it off with some nice, positive news.
Overtime, more and more people started to subscribe and they were no longer just friends. Friends of my friends and total strangers began showing interest in my writing and that’s when I began to understand why this project was so important to me.
I only set myself two rules:
To publish once a week
To be honest and speak my truth
The latter changed my life completely. Through writing about my own insecurities and being vulnerable, people were connecting with my experience and personally reaching out to me to talk about what they’d experienced and how my newsletter had helped them. This blew my mind. I considered myself to be a normal person that nobody would really care about but people showed me the total opposite, they were supporting me and giving this whole project meaning.
Thanks to opening up through POMELO and sharing my truest self, I’ve attracted some really amazing, kind, inspiring people who have nowadays become friends. I feel like I’m bundled up in love and support, this is something that to this day, I don’t know how to put into words. I feel blessed and I feel like the reason I’m here is to write and to connect with people, one day I hope to be able to really channel these thoughts and feelings through writing.
I know that many people in my life don’t understand my fixation with the idea of writing and this whole newsletter thing. I know that people think I’ll grow out of it or realise that I’m wasting my time because I’m not earning any money from it, but the way I see it is completely different.
I know that many people earn a lot of money from their writing and to be honest, I think that’s fantastic. I hope one day to be able to do the same, but not thanks to POMELO. Money could never, ever, make me feel as fulfilled and rewarded as a person I don’t know messaging me to thank me for sharing my story. A monthly subscription could never replace the feeling of people reading my writing every week, pressing like, sharing, commenting or messaging me totally voluntarily and for free because they enjoy doing so. Money would bring pressure, imposter syndrome, expectations and a lot of other things that I don’t think are worth it right now. The fact that I’m helping someone by writing my truth is the most valuable thing I can think of and seeing the impact POMELO has had on my live and other people’s is worth more than gold to me.
I feel like I’ve grown into a completely new person and every step of the journey has been reflected through POMELO. I was reading back on my old posts today and I could see that very lost, scared and alone past version of myself taking the leap to start a newsletter and I feel grateful that she was able to take the leap. If she’d have known that this project would bring her later on to her best friends and some of the best feelings she’s ever felt, she would have done it without hesitation, but she had no idea and she still did it. Thank you for being so brave.
100 weeks have flown by and I feel like I’m on a cloud floating, watching all of this happen but in reality I made it happen along with each reader. I see every one of you, I appreciate every single like and display of support you send my way. None of it is taken for granted and none of this would be possible or be the same without you. Thank you.
I wanted to finish off this post by sharing some of the things that have happened over these last 100 weeks (You may have to open it on Substack because of there being too many images)
There are so many other things that have happened through POMELO but I didn’t take notes, now I wish I had. I never imagined reaching this milestone so I feel like I need to sit with it and realise what I’ve accomplished. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone that’s believed in my throughout this journey and to myself for have never stopped trusting that this was right. I really do think it was and I hope to carry on for a lot longer. Happy Monday!!!
With lots of love,
Emily.
You already know that you're a great inspiration for me and this is only a tiny part of the whole 'why'. Keep going tronqui
Joder estoy flipando!! Acabo de leerla y meterme para dar me gusta y veo todos estos comentarios y se me saltan las lágrimas!! De orgullo, de felicidad por ti, de gratitud... Realmente tienes algo especial, tantas personas conectando contigo y sintiendo tanta felicidad por ti, especialmente las que te han conocido por Pomelo, aunque también los que estaban antes y te han llevado a aquí. No les conozco, pero les quiero por quererte tanto y a ti te quiero x1000